Jan 26, 2010

ABBA Theme Park Opens

If you're wondering why this post doesn't have a funnier title, it's because there isn't one. And no, I'm not making this up. I couldn't. If you asked me yesterday what kind of hell I would design for my most hated enemy, I doubt I would have conceived of anything as sadistic as ABBA World. That's a level of evil genius to which mere mortals can only aspire.

But if Gene Simmons were dead, he'd be rolling in his Official KISS Coffin (R) over the fact that ABBA has a theme park and KISS does not. Not only did KISS perform at theme parks, they starred in a TV movie set in a theme park. The only other musical force from the 70's to share that distinction, to my knowledge, is The Brady Bunch.


Jan 25, 2010

Congrats, Indy!

Peyton Manning is a great quarterback. I saw the game yesterday, and he was pretty damn impressive. But I don't understand the rabid devotion and blue-faced fandom. He's not from Indianapolis, he's from New Orleans. He didn't play for Indiana University, he played for Tennessee. I don't care enough to look it up, but I'm willing to bet this is true of most star players for most teams in every sport. So if you're a Colts fan, why doesn't the back of your over-priced jersey read IRSAY, the owner who's money is the reason Manning plays for your city?

I'm not a rainmaker when it comes to the sports parade. I watch the occasional game and enjoy it. I like the NCAA basketball tournament and throw my five bucks in the pool at my local watering hole. But I don't kid myself that it's not a parade, a kind of Plato's Cave where we watch a game, and a multi-millionaire in a glass booth up top watches us watch his money.

But I have friends in Indianapolis, and so to them I say, "Congratulations." I'm happy that you're happy that your favorite team is going to the big game where, God willing, their hearts will be ripped from their chests, carried back to New Orleans, and eaten raw on Fat Tuesday.

Go Ravens.

Jan 23, 2010

I'm Dying Up Here

The first half: Comedians migrate to Los Angeles, in particular the Comedy Store, in the early to mid-70's. Hilarity ensues. The second half: Everything goes to shit.

If you do comedy, you will come away from this book with a pretty good idea of how the comedy club business came into existence and why it is the way it is - good and bad. Without giving anything away, everything you like and dislike about the business of stand-up may have its origin in a comment Jay Leno made in a diner.

Jan 20, 2010

In Suck Of...

I'm one of those assholes who doesn't own a television and mentions it in the first sentence. Not that I'm above television. I just got tired of paying for 500 channels of garbage when I only wanted to see about 3 hours of garbage a week. And that garbage is available online.

More than thirty years ago, when there were only four channels and cable was the hot new thing, Jerry Mander argued that TV was irredeemable regardless of what anyone put on it. As if to prove him right, Tru-TV recently launched Jesse Ventura's Conspiracy Theory, and I caught a couple episodes on the web. It's appropriate that the show is on Tru because it is truly bad. Badly conceived, badly written, and badly acted. It's so bad I felt embarrassed watching it by myself.

And that's without even considering the subject matter. Even if there is a nugget of truth anywhere in this show, it is completely discredited by the awfulness of the presentation - from the fake command center where Jesse gathers his crack investigative team to the fake secret meetings in warehouses - Conspiracy Theory is like In Search Of in a 'roid rage.

Jan 18, 2010

Blue Weenie

I'm not going to see Avatar. Why? Because I saw it when it was called Dances With Wolves. And I saw it again when it was called The Last Samurai. Oh, and I saw the trailer. White guy is sent to dispatch some non-whites, has a change of heart, goes native, gets the girl, and becomes the hero. Right? Got it.

This guy does a good job of calling James Cameron out on his utter lack of originality, and I will just add that I am now convinced Cameron has the mind of a sixth grader. He knows how to make things look cool, and he knows what will make millions at the box office, but behind the CGI is pretty flimsy, cliched story-telling. I've seen comments on the web - and even some reviews - that praise the film for its "powerful message," which is basically that Anglo-American militarism is bad and environmentalism is good.

Deep.

Maybe it's not Cameron's fault that millions of Lady Ga Ga loving, Cheez-it chomping Americans need a 3-D spectacle and a 1-D script to have a political thought enter their consciousness, but does the guy really deserve an award?

Jan 15, 2010

A Couple Books

Just finished reading Last Words, George Carlin's autobiography. It is supposedly unfinished (and will forever remain so), but it makes it into the 2000's and covers most of the "pivotal moments" in his creative life, so it doesn't feel short.

The booze and drug fueled years are laid out in detail - enough detail anyway - with the humor and candor you'd expect from Carlin. But what is most interesting, to me, are the sections where he discusses his doubts and misgivings about his act and the material he was doing. I did not know, and would never have guessed, that he was still sorting out what he wanted to do with his comedy well into the 1980's, when Carlin was in his 50's.

One of the more entertaining chunks is a recollection of being given an award at The Aspen Comedy Arts Festival in 1997, and being around Lorne Michaels, Chevy Chase, Laraine Newman, et al:

Now I see Lorne, for whom I have no respect, because he's a hands-and-knees cocksucker... Then it's just movie talk, yuppie talk...And I'm realizing that this group of people, who were once considered radical and revolutionary, has become just another Hollywood celebrity club. The Lorne Club. That their chitchat is a modern version of the fraudulent showbiz crap I was expected to do forty years ago in Mike Douglas' gazebo.

And that's why Carlin was the best - zero tolerance for bullshit.

__________

I'm not sure what to make of John Wenzel's Mock Stars: Indie Comedy and the Dangerously Funny. First of all, the introduction is 28-pages long, and long intros make me suspicious, especially in books about comedy - too much set-up. In it, Wenzel stresses that the label "indie comedy" is troublesome, just as "alt-comedy" and other labels are. He also takes great pains to explain other things he's not trying to do - pigeon-hole certain comedians as cult figures or cultural firebrands in the manner of Lenny Bruce, or make the case that some underground comedy revolution has taken place. He proposes Mock Stars as a collection of profiles of comedians who embody a "DIY ethic."

The problem is that painting a picture of a handful of comedians - Patton Oswalt, David Cross, and others - as cult favorites is exactly what the book does, even if it does seem unintentional. By recounting the history of The Comedians of Comedy and their foray out of traditional comedy clubs and into rock venues, sometimes performing on the same bill as bands, Wenzel seems unable to avoid the appearance that he is trying to establish their underground, hipster street cred. I'm big fans of many of the comedians in the book, and yes, they are original and not your typical comedy club fare. But the idea that these comedians succeeded solely on the "DIY ethic" is a little misleading. It's true that Oswalt and his hand-picked band of misfit comics went out and found their fan base outside of comedy clubs, but it's not as if they were working basement shows or getting barred from the clubs. They climbed the club ladder for years, just as any comedian does. And none of them have been arrested after shows or brought before a judge on obscenity charges, as Lenny Bruce and George Carlin had been. Maria Bamford is hilarious. So is Zach Galifianakis. But they're not the Beat writers of the fifties or the punk rockers of the seventies in the sense that they set out to overthrow some artistic model. What they did (brilliantly) was circumvent a business model. Because of this, Mock Stars can't be a history of a cultural/artistic revolution so much as a history of a really smart marketing strategy.

Jan 12, 2010

It's On?


Kudos to Conan for sacking up to the peacock. That's right, kids, I just managed sack, cock, and Onan in the same sentence. Behold.

I have to confess that when Conan came out from behind the camera in '93, I had low expectations. Yes, he wrote for SNL (and a lengthy list of other shows). But I didn't find him that funny out front, and frankly, as a long-time Letterman devotee, I just wasn't interested in a guy who looked like he just leapt off a box of Lucky Charms (Vitamin D...0%)

But the guy has paid his dues, and as far as TV hosts go, he's better and funnier than Leno. I've said it in a previous post, but Leno lost his edge when he took the helm of The Tonight Show. He was a great comic and an absolute favorite on Letterman in the 80's. I saw him at Wolftrap in Virginia ca. 1988, and he killed. And Wolftrap is an open-air venue. You know, some seats, and then a sea of people sitting on grass with coolers. It's not every comic who can do that, and this was before most of America knew him.

I don't pretend to understand the inner machinations of network television, but I think NBC is fucking this up. And Leno - unlike a lot of comics who migrate to TV - still has a stand-up act. He could have a theater built for him in Vegas tomorrow. I'd watch that show.

Jan 2, 2010

I'm sorry, Dan, but I'm afraid I can't do that.

I've been doing comedy for just under five years, and in that time I've learned that being a comic is not just about writing material and performing. It's about being a Tweeter, Facebooker, YouTuber (or as I like to call it, Aeron Potato -- zing!), and goddamn fucking full-time professional video editor.

I have a pile of DVD's from the past couple years that I have been trying to copy, convert, split, combine, edit, and upload for months now, and I am officially done trying. I don't know what kind of file ".VOB" is, but I do know it's fucking worthless to someone with average computer skills and less patience. I got into comedy to do comedy, not to spend my time making a shiny media kit for a career that doesn't even exist yet.

Hence, ergo, and therefore, I am looking for someone who knows what he or she is doing to make my demo DVD for me. I don't have the skills, but I do have a few bucks. Not a lot of bucks, but a few. Or a bottle of whatever your flavor is. If you're that person, contact me.