White Dopes on Punk, pt. 3

I saw The Ramones several times in the 80's, on the heels of Too Tough To Die and Animal Boy, the latter of which is still one of my favorite records. The Ramones could be counted on to play The Bayou in the Georgetown section of D.C. twice a year and never disappointed. Their set was even faster live than on record, and even though it was always only 55 minutes long, it felt like two hours - a truly exhausting experience. Too bad they weren't offered the Superbowl halftime show while they were still alive. They could have done Rocket to Russia in its entirety.

I don't recall there ever being violence at a Ramones show, but the first time I saw them I got stabbed in the eye. Not with a weapon, and not on purpose, but by hair. Before The Ramones came on, I mashed my way as close to the stage as possible and found myself right behind this guy with Sid Vicious spikes firmed up with kindergarten paste. No big deal, I thought - I could see fine. Until Dee Dee's first "1-2-3-4," at which point Pasty started head-banging and BOINK - spike in the eye. That put me on the sidelines for a couple minutes, but there was no blood or retinal tearing so, no harm no foul.

I don't know if it was the band or the booker who was responsible for the opening acts, but they were often so bad it seemed intentional, as if the aim was to rile the crowd into an angry frenzy until the opener's last song was drowned out by 300 people yelling "Hey ho, let's go!" and launching beer cups full of urine at the stage. Even The Smithereens - good band - seemed out of place in front of that kind of crowd. I remember an area act called The Wild Dream Band that was fronted by a John Mellencamp wanna-be, complete with white tank-top and mullet. They had a synthesizer, which means they were either incredibly stupid or the ballsiest awful band ever. If memory serves, they weren't on stage too long. The only act that I saw hold a Ramones crowd's attention was an outfit called Mud Helmet, who managed to rally everyone into chanting the chorus of their anthem, "Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck My Dick." (A Google search for mud + helmet + band yielded no results.)