Sep 28, 2009
Sep 20, 2009
You're a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here
To the three of you who pop by here from time to time, apologies for not posting much lately. I've been busy constructing a plastic bubble around my house to keep out swine flu. Unfortunately, I've been unable to keep out the deluge of fear-mongering and bullshit. Jon & Kate, Kanye, Glenn Beck, Joe Wilson, Megan Fox, the Jackson Four... I wish Chuck Norris would give each one of them a swirly in a toilet full of AIDS. Maybe Obama could appoint Chuck to the newly established cabinet position of AIDS Swirly Czar.
I've probably said it here before, but I hate celebrity - especially undeserved celebrity, which is most of it. Jay Leno hasn't been funny in years (on TV anyway), but he works his ass off and deserves his fame. Lindsay Lohann? What the fuck does she do, exactly? Sing? Act? How many miles of labia did she nibble to get famous? When Heath Ledger died, Lindsay was quoted as saying that his death was yet another example of what Hollywood can do to people. What? What happened to personal responsibility? I live in Illinois. Can I develop a meth habit and blame it on farming? Jack Nicholson is 70-something and smokes cigarettes while swimming. Some people know their limits, some don't. Tough.
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The birthers, deathers, tea-partyers, and town hall rioters are pissing me off. While Reagan, Bush Sr., Clinton, and Bush Jr. gradually gave the republic over to corporations and bankers, no one said shit. But a half-black dude suggests that everyone should be able to afford a trip to the doctor, and suddenly every Cracker Barrel eatin' type 2 diabetic bubba in America is a constitutional scholar. Please choke to death on a cheese log (covered with a crunchy, nutty layer of thinly sliced Ebola).
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You probably didn't know about the October 16 show with Kerry White in Des Moines, IA. That's OK because it's canceled. The very cool Joel Fry had us set up with lodging and a better-than-average chunk of change, but the owner of the venue decided he'd rather have a local reggae act that night because, in his words, "it's cheaper." Who knew the hot (and affordable) reggae was coming out of Iowa these days?
The good news is that we had the date filled within half a day at a venue TBD in Chicago. Then it's a quick hop to Berwyn on the 17th and Peoria on the 18th. If you live in those areas and like entertainment you don't have to be stoned to pretend you like, come on out.
I've probably said it here before, but I hate celebrity - especially undeserved celebrity, which is most of it. Jay Leno hasn't been funny in years (on TV anyway), but he works his ass off and deserves his fame. Lindsay Lohann? What the fuck does she do, exactly? Sing? Act? How many miles of labia did she nibble to get famous? When Heath Ledger died, Lindsay was quoted as saying that his death was yet another example of what Hollywood can do to people. What? What happened to personal responsibility? I live in Illinois. Can I develop a meth habit and blame it on farming? Jack Nicholson is 70-something and smokes cigarettes while swimming. Some people know their limits, some don't. Tough.
_________________________________
The birthers, deathers, tea-partyers, and town hall rioters are pissing me off. While Reagan, Bush Sr., Clinton, and Bush Jr. gradually gave the republic over to corporations and bankers, no one said shit. But a half-black dude suggests that everyone should be able to afford a trip to the doctor, and suddenly every Cracker Barrel eatin' type 2 diabetic bubba in America is a constitutional scholar. Please choke to death on a cheese log (covered with a crunchy, nutty layer of thinly sliced Ebola).
_________________________________
You probably didn't know about the October 16 show with Kerry White in Des Moines, IA. That's OK because it's canceled. The very cool Joel Fry had us set up with lodging and a better-than-average chunk of change, but the owner of the venue decided he'd rather have a local reggae act that night because, in his words, "it's cheaper." Who knew the hot (and affordable) reggae was coming out of Iowa these days?
The good news is that we had the date filled within half a day at a venue TBD in Chicago. Then it's a quick hop to Berwyn on the 17th and Peoria on the 18th. If you live in those areas and like entertainment you don't have to be stoned to pretend you like, come on out.
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