Out With The Old

2009 was sure a crappy year, huh? Am I right, people? Am I right!? We're still at war, unemployment is over 10%, and we lost one of the great icons of American culture, Billy Mays. Maybe you lost your job this year, or your house, or your spot on Rock of Love. But hey, 2010 is a new year. Your year. The year everything changes and becomes totally awesome! The year you finally lose that last, stubborn 87 pounds. The year your supervisor finally recognizes your contribution to the Wal-Mart family and you say GOOD BYE to the temp agency. The year Jessica Alba writes on your wall.

And what better way to ring in the new than by wheeling out that perennial fountain of youth, Dick Clark! For nearly 40 years, Dick has reminded America and the world that, with enough money and silicone, you can pretend that you are not another year older and still in debt. Happy New Year!