DAN TESSITORE

One of my fondest memories of my dead friend Graham Lewis is sitting around his dining room table with a few guys seeing if we can polish off a bottle of Malort, a wormwood liqueur only available in Chicago. This is the most vile, most disgusting, most ass-tasting alcoholic beverage I've ever sampled. If you want to have some fun with your friends, get a bottle of this for special occasions, assure them this discovery of yours is the greatest thing you've ever had, and pour a round of shots. Just make sure you have a mop handy (and some back-up friends).