I'm In A Movie

I know what you're thinking, YouPorn. Nope, they only accept amateur films [ba-doom-PAH!]. Anyhoo, according to a fellow comic/movie pirate, my brief participation in The Unbookables documentary did not end up on the cutting room floor but was, in fact, edited down to ten seconds of me not doing or saying anything funny or interesting. But hey, a movie is a movie, so for future reference, please respect my privacy and that of my adopted African children. Thanks.

Say It Loud...

Sometimes you do comedy in front of a fireplace. Had I remembered that MCL had this on stage, I might have brought my rocking chair and quilt and done my Fireside Dick Jokes routine.

Last night was MCL's monthly open mike, and due to some 1000-year astronomical alignment or rip in the fabric of space-time, there were more civilians than comics in the club, and it was a damn fine show. None of the comics, though - myself included - compared to the drunk 21 year old filly who showed me and one of the other acts her yoga poses in the alley afterwards and invited us to pay special attention to her ass, of which she was rather proud.

It was an OK ass.

One of the highlights of working here is a bar around the corner called STUPID'S. Not because it's the greatest bar in the world but because a) it's called STUPID'S, b) the proprietor is actually called STUPID, and c) this is hanging on the wall...

 

I'm sure the townsfolk are genuinely proud of Noah, as they should be, but I'm not sure STUPID'S is the best venue for this kind of civic pride. Or maybe it is. What do I know?

Thanks!

theonion.com

Thanks to the 18 of you who have downloaded Poetry & Dick Jokes so far. Feel free to send the link/file around to your friends. Or your enemies, depending on what you thought of it. A big part of the reason I'm giving it away, aside from the fact no one would pay for it, is that I'm retiring most of those jokes. I'm not one for new year's resolutions, but I am one for getting tired of my act, so I'm no longer doing that material (until I'm bombing at some shit one-nighter and have to go to the well for twenty minutes to save face before driving back to the motel alone and crying into a 7-11 burrito). 

Happy New Year.

Don't Say I Never Gave Ya Nothin'

I was toying with the idea of turning a recent show into a DVD or CD or Download and selling it (cheap), but since I'd rather have fans than a net profit of thirteen dollars in merch sales for the year, AND because the sound quality is OK but not professional grade, AND because I'm not Louis C.K., I'm giving it away for free:

POETRY & DICK JOKES

Recorded August 5, 2011 at The Muncie Civic Theater in Muncie, IN.

Update

Well, it's been more than three months since I last posted here, and not one complaint. Not a Hey, Dan, I've been needing a laugh, where ya been? or a Gosh, Dan, are you OK? Which is fair enough, actually, because I've done a pretty poor job of keeping up with anyone or anything else myself lately, especially my comedy career. But if you're interested in watching me fidget with a mike stand like a meth-head with OCD, I have a new clip up and one or two more on the way this week. More then. Maybe.